Category: Spirituality

Noise and silence

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For some people today is the last day of the holidays before the return to work tomorrow. After a period of rest it will be back to the stress and rush of deadlines and meetings, or commuting, and noise. Often the background noise of the city is so pervasive that we can get to a stage that we do not even notice it. As the continual playing of Christmas music in shops over the past few weeks demonstrates, we can’t seem to live without some background sound. We have created an acceptance of our noisy world in spite of some evidence that it is making us ill physically and psychologically.

For example, a study by Cornell University published in the Journal of Applied Psychology in 2001 found that low-level office noise increases health risks and lowers task motivation for people who work there. The study found that workers in a noisy office experienced significantly higher levels of stress and made 40 percent fewer attempts to solve an unsolvable puzzle than a similar group in quiet working conditions. The effect of this stress meant that the same workers were less likely to take breaks or make healthy adjustments which would help them in the long term.

As one of the researchers, Gary Evans, an expert on environmental stress, stated: “One possible reason is that under stress, people focus in on their main task or activity. This focusing leads to less flexibility in considering alternatives during decision making, for example. Perhaps if people are working at a task and are under more stress, they become more focused on the task itself, not being as cognizant as they should be to change their posture or take a break.”

In many cases we have no control over our external environment of the noise of a city. However we do have choices in our internal environment and in our own homes. Setting aside time for meditation creates an interior silence. However we can support this by reducing some of the noise that surrounds us, turning off the radio in the car or the TV in the house. We can start this slowly, for short periods, gradually increasing the length of time. It may be that soon we will begin to look forward the periods of silence we have built into our day and even want more. Research supports the fact that this is a step towards becoming more relaxed and less tense even in the midst of our noisy world.

How is it possible to reach inner silence? Sometimes we are apparently silent, and yet we have great discussions within, struggling with imaginary partners or with ourselves. Calming our souls requires a kind of simplicity: “I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvellous for me.” Silence means recognising that my worries can’t do much. Silence means leaving what is beyond my reach and capacity. A moment of silence, even very short, is like a holy stop, a sabbath rest, a truce from worries.

Taize The Value of Silence

Resolutions I : Judging

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In many ways celebrating the end of the year today is an arbitrary choice, having little or no meaning. We have seen that the Church calendar started New Year already four weeks ago, while the ancient Celts marked their new year at Halloween. For other peoples and faiths, the Winter Solstice on December 21st marks the turning from one year’s darkness into a new years light.

And yet this day can take on a lot of meaning for people and can provide fertile ground for the judging mind. It is true that discerning, comparing and evaluating are part of the function of the mind and necessary in many contexts. Discernment in particularly can be accompanied by gentle kindness and contains wisdom and openness. However, this is not always the case with judging which we get so used to that often we do not realise we are doing it. Whatever we are looking at, in every situation, there is a constant commentary going on in our heads – that is not good, she is wrong, that is ugly, what a rude person. We frequently notice the mind coming to immediate conclusions about people we hardly know; spontaneously finding some things wrong with this or that person.

Unfortunately, we tend to turn the judging mind on ourselves, especially on a day like today. We have not “achieved” as much as we wanted this past year, we do not have a good a social life as those who are going to nice parties this evening, we are not doing as well as we think we should be. These fear-driven observations then give rise to (unconsciously) fear-driven resolutions ” I will do such-and-such next year” “I will do better, do more…” If we look deeply we can notice a heaviness associated with these resolutions, a hint of pushing and impatience. This type of thinking is just another aspect of our inability to accept ourselves without the spontaneous wish to fix ourselves, and tends ultimately just to lead to more dissatisfaction. Pushing to change ourselves based on unwholesome motivations will not lead to greater contentment with ourselves or our lives in the long run. Furthermore, these motivations tend not to produce the commitment needed for real change so do not last.

What would it be like today just to have one resolution: to accept ourselves deeply as we are, dropping the judging mind which splits the world into “them” and “me”. If we stopped the mind’s continual question – “what’s wrong with me” – for a year, what type of change would that lead us to?

When you dwell in stillness, the judging mind can come through like a foghorn. “I don’t like the pain in my knee… This is boring…I like this feeling of stillness; I had a good meditation yesterday, but today I’m having a bad meditation… It’s not working for me. I’m no good at this. I’m no good, period…”

This type of thinking dominates the mind and weighs it down. It’s like carrying around a suitcase full of rocks on your head. It feels good to put it down. Imagine how it might feel to suspend all your judging and instead to let each moment be just as it is, without attempting to evaluate it as “good” or “bad.” This would be a true stillness, a true liberation. Meditation means cultivating a non-judging attitude toward what comes up in the mind, come what may.

Jon Kabat Zinn

Solitude

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One reason we do sitting meditation is to strengthen our capacity to be with ourselves. It is, as has been said, a profound act of gentleness towards ourselves, because we allow ourselves to simply be, without any need to achieve or do. It is a calm moment, touching genuine natural calmness within. This development of our capacity to be alone with ourselves is a key to happiness, growth and to real relationships with others. It is not a surprise that all the major wisdom and religious traditions recommend setting aside time, or a day, to pause, rest and be with ourselves.

No other person will completely feel like we do, think like we do, act like we do. Each of us is unique, and our aloneness is the other side of our uniqueness. The question is whether we let our aloneness become loneliness or whether we allow it to lead us into solitude. Loneliness is painful; solitude is peaceful. Loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation; solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community.

Letting our aloneness grow into solitude and not into loneliness is a lifelong struggle. It requires conscious choices about whom to be with, what to study, how to pray, and when to ask for counsel. But wise choices will help us to find the solitude where our hearts can grow in love.

Henri Nouwen

A Change in tone

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Today broke very cold and frosty after some mild and wet days. An abrupt change when things were proceeding in a certain direction. It is the feast of St Stephen, a tale of violent death. It is striking that this feastday is celebrated one day after the birth of a child, the Prince of Peace. Perhaps to draw attention to the reality of our changing experience, that sadness can follow joy very quickly, or disappointment come when least expected. Or maybe to the reality of the world, as many people experience violence and hatred every day, no matter what time of year.

You can see that there are seasons in your life in the same way as there are seasons in nature. There are times to cultivate and create, when you nurture your world and give birth to new ideas and ventures. There are times of flourishing and abundance, when life feels in full bloom, energized and expanding. And there are times of fruition, when things come to an end. They have reached their climax and must be harvested before they fade. And finally, of course, there are times of cold and cutting and empty, times when the spring of new beginnings seems like a distant dream.

These rhythms in life are natural events. They weave into one another as day follows night, bringing, not messages of hope and fear, but messages of how things are. If you realize that each phase of your life is a natural occurrence, then you need not be swayed, pushed up and down by the changes in circumstance and mood that life brings.

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, How to Rule

Tenderness

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The tender mercy of our God has come to visit us Luke 1: 78

For Christmas morning, on seeing the mystery of a God come as a child

Tenderness is the language of the body as a mother holds her child, as a nurse touches a patient’s wound, or as an assistant bathes someone with a disability. Recently in a buddhist monastery, I watched a sister as she served us food and tea with great delicacy; it was as if the meal itself was sacred, revealing a presence of God. And so it did, because it was treated so.

Tenderness is the language of the body speaking of respect: the body honours what it touches. It honours reality. It does not act as if reality has to be changed or possessed; reality belongs to humanity and to God. Is not this the way we should relate to all living beings, plants, animals and the earth?

Isaiah wrote about the Messiah
“He will not cry or lift up his voice,
or make it heard on the street;
a bruised reed he will not break
and a flickering wick he will not quench”

Jean Vanier Becoming Human

Patience

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Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
 Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

The Season of Advent places an emphasis on waiting in patience and in silence. We often do not know what is really going on in the overall plan for our lives. One metaphor used for this is the farmer who waits for the fields to produce the crop he has planted many months earlier by seed.

There are plenty of opportunities for patience in our lives these busy days. Being stuck in an airport because of flight delays, road and rail travel in chaos due to bad weather, even longer queues than normal at the checkout. However, most of the we don’t like waiting. And often when things go against us, or we get frustrated we certainly don’t wait in silence. A lot of the time, we hurry and we push. We split time into tenths of seconds. When stressed we get anxious when a traffic light turns red and holds us up for a bit.

If we practice with these small opportunities for patience we may grow in the wisdom needed to see the overall plan in our lives. The model for this type of patience at this time is Mary, about to give birth. Like all the figures in Scripture she can be seen as a model for our interior and psychological life, showing a wisdom that leads to true happiness. She prepared to give birth, faced with the difficulties of travel at that time. She did not know what was happening to her, who this child to be born was, what her overall life purpose was. But she trusted and, we are told, ” pondered all these things in her heart”. At times all we can do is wait and trust, not knowing, living in the present moment.