Mindfulness practice help us become aware of the gaps and discontinuities that are always appearing spontaneously in the logic of our story lines. For instance even in in the midst of the most intense anger, we might begin to notice flashes of “Why am I so angry?” “Do I need to make such a big deal out of this?” “Is this really as important as I am making it?” Meditation allows us to notice how big mind is always available and flashing into awareness, even when we are most caught up in our stories. Although we often feel most alive when involved in emotional dramas, mediatatio nhelp us realize our baisc ongoing aliveness that is always present in both dramatic and undramatic moments
John Welwood, Befriending Emotion
Normally we do everything we can to avoid just being. When left alone with ourselves, without a project to occupy us, we become nervous. We start judging ourselves or thinking about what we should be doing or feeling. We start putting conditions on ourselves, trying to arrange our experience so that it measures up to our inner standards. Since this inner struggle is so painful, we are always looking for something to distract us from being with ourselves.
If we are feeling unhappy, what is called for is a willingness to simply be with that unhappiness. If we’re not careful, we say something’s wrong, though it doesn’t really help to say that. We say it either inwardly or outwardly. This projecting of blame is a consequence of having made an inner mistake of misperceiving our unhappiness, sadness or suffering as being something wrong. We don’t receive it just as it is. We don’t acknowledge it and feel it, allowing it to happen; we don’t have the ‘knowingness’ to see it as activity taking place in awareness. Because we don’t have that perspective, we struggle to do something about our suffering, to deal with it in some way. To say that something has gone wrong and that it’s somebody’s fault is a heedless way of dealing with our unpleasant experiences. The habit of consistently doing this is a symptom of what I call the compulsive judging mind.
A Zen Master once said simply, “We are saved such as we are”. Mindfulness has been such a blessed relief because it has given me a way to hold everything in my life compassionately, just as it is. Over years of practice, almost invisibly, mindfulness has been slowly stitching the old wound of feeling not enough…. As we can bow to the wounds in ourselves and the wounds in others the wounds begin, in their own time, with grace to close. The great way is not difficult if we don’t pick and choose.
Mindfulness meditation doesn’t change life: lIfe remains as fragile and unpredictable as ever: Meditation changes the heart’s capacity to accept life as it is. It teaches the heart to be more accommodating, not by beating it into submission, but by making it clear that accommodating is a gratifying choice. accommodation of the heart is not always easy. Knowing that it is a possibility is a great inspiration. Having an accommodating heart is the ultimate freedom. Practicing accommodation on the small, moment-to-moment disappointments of life – not forgetting our preferences but remaining spacious and relaxed when they are not met – prepares us to deal with the larger challenges of life.
Mindfulbalance 