growth – Page 75 – Mindfulbalance

Early morning thoughts on travel

February 8, 2012February 7, 2012 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

If a man travels faster than the speed of a camel he is in danger of losing his soul. Arab proverb

I travelled home to Ireland at the weekend and, as always, noticed how the different experiences – and the changes one sees in familiar places – touch and impress themselves upon the mind. Even short journeys such as these can make us more reflective, conscious of how our life is always changing and moving – a reflection on identity really. This is partly brought on by the fact that our identity in the place where we live may be partly due to our work, familiar routines and feedback from people who live there, and all these things may fall away the minute we step on a plane and journey to a place where we do not have those roles to play. It helps us to see how conditioned aspects of our self is, from this place now which is our home to that place which was once our home and from this time to the last time. And as the visit ended and I was squeezed into a seat on the plane after an early rising and rush to the airport with its impersonal rituals and rules, feeling pushed and shoved at a speed I did not want to go at, I reflected how “old-fashioned” means of travel – by boat, train or even on foot – allowed for greater processing of all the thoughts and stimuli that passes through the mind on a journey. It is this processing which allows all the experiences be integrated and understood.

It seems to me that something similar happens in our inner life. In these past days and weeks I have talked with people who are journeying in their lives, and who are finding that they are not able to keep all the parts of their development together, and this makes them feel somewhat disoriented, or confused. The wise Arab parable above challenges us to reflect : the soul can only move slowly, at the pace of a camel. However, often, due to the pace of life today and its demands, lives move too fast for the inner self to keep up, and one suddenly finds oneself in a landscape where one has lost ones bearings. Often the message is given that we must always be active, busy and that slowing down is a sign of laziness or lack of ambition. For some people this means that the gap between their inner pace and the activities of their outer lives, be it in work or at home, becomes too great and the result is a sense of unravelling or even of something akin to depression. It could be that their job lost its connection to the reason why it was chosen in the first place, or that changes in relationships meant that their inner resources were not being replenished. The act of keeping busy, often by doing the necessary things of work and family life, means that they have moved away from what is real and fulfilling, and they feel lost.

What can we do at moments like this, for we all face them in greater or lesser way as we journey through life? We can but hold open the space, to listen to what our inner life is saying, even though that may take time to clarify itself. In other words, we allow time for our true self find the voice it lost because things moved so fast. Taking time, slowing down, doing activities that ground us, routine tasks that do not require too much energy. Thus slowly we allow a new path to emerge, and see that the feeling of being lost is a necessary one, if we are to find what truly gives us life. Above all, we trust and do not make impossible demands on ourselves. For we are in transition, and have arrived yet; the soul knows what it is doing and will catch up, even if it takes its time.

Choosing outside our usual pattern

February 7, 2012February 6, 2012 Karl Duffy1 Comment

The big thing in my own experience is that the bravery is to not just go with an habitual pattern because it’s usually fear-based. Instead, stay present and open so you can connect with your underlying strength, which is called basic goodness. The seductiveness of habitual patterns is a false security, but we wouldn’t follow it if we didn’t think it was going to bring us some comfort or relief. Still, habitual patterns just keep us stuck in the same rut, so the courage is to actually realize you have a choice and choose to do the tougher thing.

Pema Chodron

All things arise and pass away

February 4, 2012February 1, 2012 Karl Duffy1 Comment

To what can our life on earth be likened?
To a flock of geese,
alighting on the snow.
Sometimes leaving a trace of their passage.

Su Shi (1037 – 1101), Remembrance

Sometimes we have to hold open the questions

January 31, 2012January 31, 2012 Karl Duffy2 Comments

Heavy snow here in France and very cold weather is forecast for the next few days. Here is a poem from Mary Oliver in similar conditions as she walks in a landscape covered in its white blanket. The beauty of nature changes the way we hold the questions which are always present in our lives.

The snow began here this morning and all day
continued, its white rhetoric everywhere calling us back to why, how, whence such beauty and what the meaning; such an oracular fever! flowing
past windows, an energy it seemed would never ebb, never settle
less than lovely! and only now, deep into night, it has finally ended.
The silence is immense, and the heavens still hold
a million candles, nowhere the familiar things: stars, the moon,
the darkness we expect and nightly turn from.

Trees glitter like castles of ribbons, the broad fields smolder with light, a passing
creekbed lies heaped with shining hills;
and though the questions that have assailed us all day
remain — not a single
answer has been found –
walking out now into the silence and the light
under the trees, and through the fields,
feels like one.

Mary Oliver, First Snow

The work within us

January 30, 2012January 29, 2012 Karl Duffy1 Comment

Real growth in life is slow and can sometime pose its challenges. It requires that we keep the space within us open in face of the unknown and move towards being comfortable with that. Often this means that we have to keep our heart curious and vulnerable, resisting the impulse to close down the experience by putting labels on it, or on ourselves. When faced with the unknown, the temptation is to put on armour in case we will be hurt. And our experience now can often bring us back to where we were once wounded or where our needs were unmet and release old fears. However, it is by having a conversation with the unknown in our lives that we can clarify what we need to hold on to and what we need to let go of. Only then can we take the next step on a journey into something bigger, into who we can become, into where our life actually is now.

The work of the eyes is done.

Go now and do the heart-work on the images imprisoned within you.

Rilke

Create life a day at a time.

January 24, 2012January 23, 2012 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

The present moment is all we have, and it becomes the doorway to true calm, your healing refuge. The only place you can love, or heal or awaken is here and now, the eternal present. Create life a day at a time. You cannot know the future. But you can plant beautiful seeds here and now and learn to tend them with the love, courage and survival instinct that is inborn in you. Somerset Maugham once said “There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are”. He wrote marvellous novels, the only way we can, a page at a time.