The key element of practicing with this tendency is gentleness, and the method is mindfulness. Many of us practice in a speedy environment. In a sense, speed is the disease of our times. It’s always there and it’s very hard to extract ourselves from it. But we must realize that speed is in fact just a hallucination, a self-imposed reality. Being mindful cuts speed. Being present cuts speed. If we trust in basic goodness when we look at what’s going on in our life right now, kindness and patience naturally come about.
Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche
Toward the end of his writings, the Catholic monk Thomas Merton seems to have come to a position which admitted the uselessness of us seeking a “true self” as a strategy, rather than just working with where we are in each moment at any given time. A lot of self-help books and even some psychology approaches set up this distinction between “me here” and “a better me there”, with a gap in-between and an emphasis on changing ourselves in order to get to that desired, truer place. Although ongoing reflection is a good thing, often all this urge for improvement reflects a type of aggression towards ourselves, rather than helping us with our fundamental task – befriending ourselves and life as it is. It paradoxically can even reduce any capacity for growth, which starts with self-acceptance. 
When we’re feeling aggressive — and in some sense this would apply to any strong feeling — there’s an enormous pregnant quality that pulls us in the direction of wanting to get some resolution. It hurts so much to feel the aggression that we want it to be resolved. So what do we usually do? We do exactly what is going to escalate the aggression and the suffering. We strike out; we hit back. [However] Developing patience and fearlessness means learning to sit still with the edginess of the energy. We discover that joy and happiness, peace, harmony and being at home with yourself and your world come from sitting still with the moodiness of energy until it rises, dwells and passes away. The energy never resolves itself into something solid. So all the while, we stay in the middle of the energy. The path of touching in on the inherent softness of the genuine heart is to sit still and be patient with that kind of energy.
I think of moments of pressure and difficulty as like this – as gateways, the beginning of a journey…It’s easy to forget to be curious, and to grab an off-the-shelf knowledge, something like “This is awful”. Not reaching for off-the-shelf understandings, though, is an important skill. The whole of the ancient, master teachings on suffering come down to this: Suffering is the notion “This isn’t it” and its variants, such as “It shouldn’t be happening” and “I have to know how this will turn out”. Freedom, waking up, and fearlessness comes down to the simplicity of “Wait a minute, what if this is it” and its variant “I don’t know”
We are so trained to think of money as our wealth, or ’our capital.‘ But there are so many kinds of ’capital‘ besides money, and some are more available and even more valuable. For example, whenever we gather to make something happen, we need someone who has wisdom capital,
Mindfulbalance 