The solution of the problem of life is life itself.
Life is not attained by reason and analysis but first of all by living.
Thomas Merton
It’s very easy to avoid being alone – there are so many distractions. However, in one sense we are always alone in our experience…. Without solitary time there is no chance to reflect on your life and find wisdom. My advice is to cultivate aloneness as a habit – even for just five or ten minutes a day. See what it’s like. Sit there and allow whatever intrigues or bores or scares you to arise. The energy you spend in fearful reaction to things is much greater than the energy it takes to look at them. Out of that time come amazing things: insight, creativity, courage, self-knowledge – and truth. I promise.
Susan Piver
The goalposts for what counts as “good enough” always seem to be out of reach. No matter how well we do, someone else always seems to be doing it better. The result of this line of thinking is sobering: Millions of people who need to take pharmaceuticals every day just to cope with daily life. Insecurity, anxiety, and depression are incredibly common in our society, and much of this is due to self-judgment, to beating ourselves up when we feel we aren’t winning in the game of life.
So what’s the answer? To stop judging and evaluating ourselves altogether. To stop trying to label ourselves as “good” or “bad” and simply accept ourselves with an open heart. To treat ourselves with the same kindness, caring, and compassion we would show to a good friend — or even a stranger, for that matter. Self-compassion provides an island of calm, a refuge from the stormy seas of endless positive and negative self-judgment, so that we can finally stop asking, “Am I as good as they are? Am I good enough?” By tapping into our inner wellsprings of kindness, acknowledging the shared nature of our imperfect human condition, we can start to feel more secure, accepted, and alive.
It does take work to break the self-criticizing habits of a lifetime, but at the end of the day, you are only being asked to relax, allow life to be as it is, and open your heart to yourself. It’s easier than you might think, and it could change your life.
Kristan Neff, Why Self-Compassion trumps Self-Esteem
When we enter the present moment deeply, our regrets and sorrows disappear, and we discover life with all its wonders. Breathing in, we say to ourselves, “I have arrived.” Breathing out, we say,”I am home.” When we do this, we overcome dispersion and dwell peacefully in the present moment, which is the only moment for us to be alive.
Thich Nhat Hahn, Walking Meditation
When we come face to face with the fear and pain in our psyche, we stand at the gateway to tremendous renewal and freedom. Our deepest nature is awareness, and when we fully inhabit that, we love freely and are whole… When we stop fighting the energy that has been bound in fear, it naturally releases into the boundless sea of awareness. The more we awaken from the grip of fear, the more radiant and free becomes the heart.
Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance