Joy – Page 183 – Mindfulbalance

Early morning thoughts on travel

February 8, 2012February 7, 2012 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

If a man travels faster than the speed of a camel he is in danger of losing his soul. Arab proverb

I travelled home to Ireland at the weekend and, as always, noticed how the different experiences – and the changes one sees in familiar places – touch and impress themselves upon the mind. Even short journeys such as these can make us more reflective, conscious of how our life is always changing and moving – a reflection on identity really. This is partly brought on by the fact that our identity in the place where we live may be partly due to our work, familiar routines and feedback from people who live there, and all these things may fall away the minute we step on a plane and journey to a place where we do not have those roles to play. It helps us to see how conditioned aspects of our self is, from this place now which is our home to that place which was once our home and from this time to the last time. And as the visit ended and I was squeezed into a seat on the plane after an early rising and rush to the airport with its impersonal rituals and rules, feeling pushed and shoved at a speed I did not want to go at, I reflected how “old-fashioned” means of travel – by boat, train or even on foot – allowed for greater processing of all the thoughts and stimuli that passes through the mind on a journey. It is this processing which allows all the experiences be integrated and understood.

It seems to me that something similar happens in our inner life. In these past days and weeks I have talked with people who are journeying in their lives, and who are finding that they are not able to keep all the parts of their development together, and this makes them feel somewhat disoriented, or confused. The wise Arab parable above challenges us to reflect : the soul can only move slowly, at the pace of a camel. However, often, due to the pace of life today and its demands, lives move too fast for the inner self to keep up, and one suddenly finds oneself in a landscape where one has lost ones bearings. Often the message is given that we must always be active, busy and that slowing down is a sign of laziness or lack of ambition. For some people this means that the gap between their inner pace and the activities of their outer lives, be it in work or at home, becomes too great and the result is a sense of unravelling or even of something akin to depression. It could be that their job lost its connection to the reason why it was chosen in the first place, or that changes in relationships meant that their inner resources were not being replenished. The act of keeping busy, often by doing the necessary things of work and family life, means that they have moved away from what is real and fulfilling, and they feel lost.

What can we do at moments like this, for we all face them in greater or lesser way as we journey through life? We can but hold open the space, to listen to what our inner life is saying, even though that may take time to clarify itself. In other words, we allow time for our true self find the voice it lost because things moved so fast. Taking time, slowing down, doing activities that ground us, routine tasks that do not require too much energy. Thus slowly we allow a new path to emerge, and see that the feeling of being lost is a necessary one, if we are to find what truly gives us life. Above all, we trust and do not make impossible demands on ourselves. For we are in transition, and have arrived yet; the soul knows what it is doing and will catch up, even if it takes its time.

Our habit of running

February 7, 2012February 7, 2012 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

If we can’t rest, it is because we have not stopped running. We began running a long time ago. We continue to run even in our sleep. We think that happiness and well-being are not possible in the here and now. That belief is inherent in us. We received the seed of that belief from our parents and grandparents. They struggled all their lives and believed that happiness is only possible in the future. That’s why when we were children, we were already in the habit of running. We believed that happiness was something to seek for in the future. But the teaching…is that we can be happy right here, right now. If you can stop and establish yourself in the here and now, you will see that there are many elements of happiness available in this moment, more than enough to make you happy.

Thich Nhat Hahn, Happiness

Notice when you are rushing

February 3, 2012February 1, 2012 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

Most of the time we go through the day, through our activities, our work, our relationships, our conversations, and very rarely do we ground ourselves in an awareness of our bodies. We are lost in our thoughts, our feelings, our emotions, our stories, our plans. A very simple guide or check on this state of being lost is to pay attention to those times when you feel like you are rushing. Rushing does not have to do with speed. You can rush moving slowly, and you can rush moving quickly.

We are rushing when we feel as if we are toppling forward. Our minds run ahead of ourselves; they are out there where we want to get to, instead of being settled back in our bodies. The feeling of rushing is good feedback. Whenever we are not present, right then, in that situation, we should stop and take a few deep breaths. Settle into the body again. Feel yourself sitting. Feel the step of a walk. Be in your body.

Joseph Goldstein, Transforming the Mind, Healing the World

Allowing, not controlling

February 2, 2012February 1, 2012 Karl Duffy1 Comment

There is a difference between watching the mind and controlling the mind. Watching the mind with a gentle, open attitude allows the mind to settle down and come to rest. Trying to control the mind, or trying to control the way one’s spiritual practice will unfold, just stirs up more agitation and suffering.

Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness

Midway

February 1, 2012January 31, 2012 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

Every man has to learn the points of compass again as often as he awakes, whether from sleep or any abstraction. Not till we are lost, in other words not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are and the infinite extent of our relations. Thoreau, Walden

In the old Celtic and Gaelic calendar, today, February 1st, is the start of Spring. It was the Celtic feast of Imbolc, which centred around the lighting of fires, celebrated because it is halfway between the winter and the spring solstices. Similarly tomorrow, the feast of Candlemas, traditionally involved a procession of candles and the blessing of candles for use in the home. It would seem that there was a need for people to remind themselves of warmth and light around this midway point – when the cold weather can return with a vengeance as it has this year – as encouragement that new growth will soon be here. It is the same for us today, for we all can find ourselves at midway points from time to time, not sure where we are arriving, but too far away from where we started from to recognize it and go back. We have no overall map for this journey, we can lose our sense of direction and easily get lost. It can feel, as Dante says, as if we are “midway in this way of life we’re bound upon …. in a dark wood, where the right road was wholly lost and gone”.

It is no surprise that journey narratives appear so frequently in all wisdom traditions and mythologies. We are never really in just one place, even when things are quite stable, but always somewhat in-between. Still, whenever we’re moving into anything new we often feel a hesitancy within and tension or unease arises because we prefer to stay as we were, where we felt comfortable. And the brain tends to interpret our underlying unease as anxiety and therefore as negative, leading us to be afraid because something new is demanded. And this can feel like darkness and being lost. However, what these ancient feasts remind us is that this darkness is often the gateway from one place to another, and a natural part of a cycle that leads to new depths. Trust is needed as is mindfulness, which allows us to hold the feeling of unease in awareness, without reactivity, and without the need to run away or fix it. We can thus tolerate the experience of being lost without believing the story of being lost. This holding of awareness is like holding a candle in the darkness – it allows us stay in the darkness without fear until it teaches us what we need to learn.