Tag: Joy

Busyness is offered

Karl Duffy1 Comment

Busyness pervades every aspect of modern life, often presented as a virtue or even a benchmark which demonstrates that we are succesful.  In this poem,  Mary Oliver reminds us that it comes to us from outside – it is “offered” to us. We can have a lot to do each day. However, busyness or “speeding up” comes from our relationship to what we have to do. We do not have to accept it but can  protect ourselves from it by creating space. It does not have to be as extreme as the Chines poets . It can be quite simply some quiet time each day, or some time in nature.

Wherever I am, the world comes after me.
It offers me its busyness. It does not believe
that I do not want it. Now I understand
why the old poets of China went so far and high
into the mountains, then crept into the pale mist.

Mary Oliver, The Old Poets of China

Letting go of striving

Karl Duffy1 Comment

 

Happiness is like a butterfly:

the more you chase it, the more it will elude you.

But if you turn your attention to other things,

it will come and sit softly on your shoulder 

Thoreau

Noticing, right now, this morning

Karl Duffy1 Comment

Normally,  fantasies are spinning out , one after another, usually about being someplace else or being different from what we are right now. What about a moment of stopping  and checking whether this is going on right now?  Simply waking up this moment to what is taking place right now, opening up to……nothing special. Just wind blowing, windows rattling, birds calling, breath flowing in and out, bright sunlight flowing through the shades making patterns on the floor. When that happens it is clear that no wishing has brought it about! Being here and now in unadorned simplicity is our true state – whole and inseparable from anything else.

Toni Parker, The Silent Question

Accepting our emptiness

Karl Duffy1 Comment

Following on from yesterday’s post, and applying it to our notions of psychological growth and maturity. Just as in nature, we need to be able to tolerate – and stop fighting with – the complexity,  disruptions, reversals and emptiness which are part of the normal human condition, and stop seeing them as unusual or as enemies to growth. In this way we move away from trying to get rid of them,  to accepting and authenticating them.

In our zeal to eliminate the ghosts of our childhood, to nourish the empty places of emotional insufficiency and to achieve the pinnacle of psychological development…we were treating feelings of emptiness as something that needed to be fixed and cured, and therefore losing the ground upon which we rest. Our aversion to emptiness is such that we have become experts at explaining it away, distancing ourselves from it, or assigning blame for its existence on the past or on the faults of others. We contaminate it with our personal histories and expect that it will disappear when we have resolved our personal problems. Thus. Western psychologists are trained to understand a report of emptiness as indicative of a deficiency in someone’s emotional upbringing, a defect in character, a defense against overwhelming feelings of aggression, or as a stand-in for feelings of inadequacy. Since most of us share one or more of these traits, it becomes easy to pathologize a feeling that in Buddhism serves as a starting point for self-exploration.

Mark Epstein, Going to Pieces without Falling Apart

Knowing you have enough

Karl Duffy6 Comments

The Irish phrase Go leor can be translated in different ways in English, including the words “enough” and “plenty”. Today’s world is good at promoting and accumulating plenty. The message that we get in so many ways is that if you get more you will get happier. However, for a lot of people, this sense of “more” just seems to increase and expand – more expectations in work, more information coming at us, more decisions to make, more demands on our time. And this emphasis on plenty sometimes distracts us from where our real focus should be – on coming to see when we have enough. Thus we can find that we are less skilled at knowing when to let go and be satisfied with what we have, or how much we do.  Reflecting on replacing the word “plenty” with “enough”  can help us here. Deciding what is enough – and learning to be content with that –  is one of the most important pieces of work that we can do.

There is no greater offence than harbouring desires.

There is no greater disaster than discontent.

There is no greater misfortune than wanting more. 

Hence, if you are content you will always have enough.

Lao Tsu

Discovering the world anew

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Some more words from Jacques Lusseyran, who as I said in an earlier post, was blinded in an accident at age eight. He writes about the way this allowed him to develop his capacity for paying attention which goes far beyond just the ability to see and think :

[Those who can see] commit a strange error. They believe that we know the world only through our eyes. For my part, I discovered that the universe consists of pressure, that every object and every living being reveals itself to us at first by a kind of quiet yet unmistakable pressure that indicates its intention and its form. I even experienced the following wonderful fact: A voice, the voice of a person, permits him to appear in a picture. When the voice of a man reaches me, I immediately perceive his figure, his rhythm, and most of his intentions. Even stones are capable of weighing on us from a distance. So are the outlines of distant mountains, and the sudden depression of a lake at the bottom of a valley.

This correspondence is so exact that when I walked arm in arm with a friend along the paths of the Alps, I knew the landscape and could sometimes describe it with surprising clarity. Sometimes; yes, only sometimes. I could do it when I summoned all my attention. Permit me to say without reservation that if all people were attentive, if they would undertake to be attentive every moment of their lives, they would discover the world anew. They would suddenly see that the world is entirely different from what they had believed it to be.