….and see clearly…

When we condemn or justify we cannot see clearly, nor can we when our minds are endlessly chattering; then we do not observe what is; we look only at the projections we have made of ourselves. Each of us has an image of what we think we are or what we should be, and that image, that picture, entirely prevents us from seeing ourselves as we actually are.

It is one of the most difficult things in the world to look at anything simply. Because our minds are very complex we have lost the quality of simplicity.  I don’t mean simplicity in clothes or food……but the simplicity that can look directly at things without fear – that can look at ourselves as we actually are without any distortion – to say we lie when we lie, not cover it up or run away from it

Krisnamurti, Freedom from the Known.

Staying present with the physical experience

If you remember nothing else, always remember this: we don’t have to feel any particular way. We don’t have to have special experiences, nor do we have to be any particular way. With whatever arises, whether it’s pleasing or not, try to remember that all we can do is experience and work with whatever our life is right now. No matter what life is and no matter how we feel about it, all that matters in practice is whether we can honestly acknowledge what is going on, and then stay present with the physical experience of that moment.

Ezra Bayda.

Accepting where you are

In human life, if you feel that you have made a mistake, you don’t try to undo the past or the present, but you just accept where you are and work from there. Tremendous openness as to where you are is necessary. This also applies to the practice of meditation, for instance.  A person should learn to meditate on the spot, in the given moment, rather than thinking, “…When I reach pension age, I’m going to retire and receive a pension, and I’m going to build my house in Hawaii or the middle of India, or maybe the Gobi Desert, and THEN I’m going to enjoy myself.  I’ll live a life of solitude and then I’ll really meditate”.   Things never happen that way.

Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche

Trying to make things permanent

When we sit in meditation, we practice observing our thoughts, emotions, and sensations as they arise and fall away,  while we rest on the breath or on a wider calm. The key word here is practice. It is not always easy, but we work at paying attention to our mental events, not hooking into them, simply  allowing them and letting them be.  We quickly learn that emotions and their associated thoughts change as frequently as the weather in Ireland. We open the mind up to more possibilities than what can be easily predicted, or our fixed views of persons.  This helps us develop a real understanding of the changing ups and downs of life, leading to the development of  equanimity towards the times when things or people are not as reliable as we thought they were. The word equanimity comes from Latin aequus “even” and animus ”mind, soul”.  Enjoying life and reducing stress is related to a mind which is even,  not having a preference for one thing or another, not  holding on to something good or something bad.

Everything we gain is subject to loss. Although this is as true as the sky is blue, we keep trying to make gain permanent in order to try to bring about happiness for “me.” We think, “If only So-and-So would love me, I would be happy,“ “If only things would change, I would be happy,” “If only things would stay the way they are, I would always be happy,” and it only leads to heartache. This kind of wanting involves a lot of hope and fear, all based on denial of a simple truth: all the pleasure the world can offer eventually turns to pain. Trying to hold onto pleasure only causes more pain.

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, Easy Come Easy Go

The key is to relax

This fundamental richness is available in each moment. The key is to relax: relax to a cloud in the sky, relax to a tiny bird with grey wings, relax to the sound of a telephone ringing. We can see the simplicity in things as they are. We can smell things, taste things, feel emotions and have memories. When we are able to be there without saying “I certainly agree with that” or “I definitely don’t agree with that”  but just be here very directly, then we find fundamental richness everywhere. It is not our or theirs but is available to everyone. In raindrops, in blood drops, in heartache and delight, this wealth is in the nature of everything. It is like the sun that shines on everyone without discrimination.

Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart

What being silent means

 

Being silent for me doesn’t require being in a quiet place, and it doesn’t mean not saying words. It means “receiving in a balanced, noncombative way what is happening”. With or without words, the hope of my heart is that I will be able to relax and acknowledge the truth of my situation with compassion.

Sylvia Boorstein, That’s funny, you don’t look Buddhist