relationships – Page 9 – Mindfulbalance

Who are you comparing yourself to this day?

April 6, 2011April 6, 2011 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

A samurai, a very proud warrior, came to see a Zen Master one day. The samurai was very famous, but looking at the beauty of the Master and the grace of the moment, he suddenly felt inferior.

He said to the Master, “Why am I feeling inferior? Just a moment ago everything was okay. As I entered your court suddenly I felt inferior. I have never felt like that before. I have faced death many times, and I have never felt any fear — why am I now feeling frightened?”

The Master said, “Come outside.”

It was a full moon night, the moon was just rising on the horizon. And he said, “Look at these trees. This tree is high in the sky and this small one beside it. They both have existed beside my window for years, and there has never been any problem. The smaller tree has never said to the big tree, ‘Why do I feel inferior before you?’ This tree is small, and that tree is big — why have I never heard a whisper of it?”

The samurai said, “Because they can’t compare.”

The Master replied, “Then you need not ask me. You know the answer.”

Zen Parable

When we get hurt and damaged

April 4, 2011April 5, 2011 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

Another post on working with the past. Typically, after tidying the garden over the weekend, the wind rose last night and scattered bins, leaves, twigs and nests, reminding us – and the birds – that it is not quite Summer, despite the warm temperatures. And coincidentally, the reading for today in Mark Nepo’s lovely book The Book of Awakening is about damage and hurt in our lives, so I thought I would share it here. Dealing with the past sometimes means moving on and letting go and at other times means healing what has been wounded or repairing what has been broken:

Stones loosened by storms cover paths, and uprooted trees break newly formed nests, and crisis after crisis throws us into each other. It is inevitable. Stay alive and you will be hurt, and you will also hurt others. Unintended hurt is as common as branches snapped in wind. But it is the unacknowledged hurt that becomes a wound.

Being human, we are subject to many ancient and powerful opposites found in life. Among those that impact us constantly are light and dark, yes and no, and especially fear and peace. For it is out of fear that we feel the need to isolate ourselves or to control others, and it is often in the act of elevating ourselves that we hurt one another, not to mention ourselves.

Still, as no one in daily life is exempt from both sleeping and waking, no one can escape feeling both fear and peace, and so, no one can escape being both hurtful and loving. But the world is kept whole by those who can overcome their fear, however briefly. The blood of life itself is kept vital by those who can simply and bravely repair their separations, time and time again.

Spring cleaning, uprooting, not looking back, new growth….

April 3, 2011April 3, 2011 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

Some thoughts, prompted by having to queue to get into the déchetterie – the recycling depot – this morning, which are in the same vein as some of the quotes over the past few days. The good weather motivates people to tidy up their houses and garages after the enforced restricted time that is winter. I was working in the garden yesterday, digging up the plants that did not survive the winter and cutting back those which will now grow more strongly in the Summer. Getting rid of the old and letting the new grow stronger or in different directions. And all around Nature is budding now, revealing what has been going on unseen and underground for months. In our own life path it is the same. We get rid of elements that no longer accord with who we are now, or let go of that which we can no longer hold onto. While waiting in the queue I listened to “Don’t Look Back” by Van Morrison which prompted these thoughts. Maybe the words will speak to someone this evening. If not, any excuse to play early Van the Man is good….

We often do not like just being with ourselves

March 29, 2011March 28, 2011 Karl Duffy1 Comment

Sometimes in our lives we have to let go of things which once seemed important in order to allow the space to be filled with new things. However, this requires courage, and we often avoid it by preferring to be occupied, to fill up empty space and time.

Emptiness is the pregnant void out of which all creation springs.

But many of us fear emptiness.

We prefer to remain…surrounded by things…which we imagine are subject to our control.

Wayne Muller

Inner nourishment

March 27, 2011March 28, 2011 Karl Duffy2 Comments

As adults we can sometimes fall into the trap of blaming others for where or who we are. Instead we work at letting go of resentments and becoming responsible for nurturing ourselves. Our parents may not have provided the care we needed deep down, or others may have failed to support us in our lives. However, now we take on that role by acknowledging our own deepest needs and listening to what our inner self has to say.

We are, in a sense, our own parents, and we give birth to ourselves by our own free choice of what is good.

St Gregory of Nyssa, Homily on the Book of Ecclesiastes