Slowing down, going deeper

Although yesterday’s incredibly mild weather belies the fact,  we have passed the traditional date for the start of winter. It  began on the feast of Saint Martin, marking the end of harvest, the drinking of the new wine, and the time for farm labourers to return home. Then the  ancient period of forty days preparation for Christmas, observed since the 5th Century, followed. Traditionally, these days coincided with a sense of the natural beginning of winter, and the body’s response in taking recovery time for itself. They were a time of reflection and a simplification of intake, of taking stock and winding down. In today’s world,  technology allows us to promote the opposite – longer  shopping hours and a  speeding up in preparation for the holidays, as  Thanksgiving and Christmas  advertisments begin to appear.  An ancient way of doing things and a modern  one. Thus we have a choice.

Nature has its periods of growth and its periods of rest. We are still somewhat in the bright and gentle light of autumn but we know that the darker days of winter are sneaking up on us. Soon all will go quiet and cold, with little seeming to stir. However, as yesterday’s post reminds us about the psychological sphere,  underneath much is going on. Nature becomes for us a model in its beckoning us to turn inward and look deeper, to rest, reflect and simplify. Thomas Merton reminded us of the value of “winter, when the plant says nothing.” There is a time for us also to slow down, to say little, to wait and watch.

Our task is to find a balance, to find a middle way, to learn not to overextend ourselves with extra activities and preoccupations, but to simplify our lives more and more. The key to finding a happy balance in modern life is simplicity.

Sogyal Rimpoche.

Our hidden selves.

Modern society likes to portray everything as being within our grasp,  so long as we apply ourselves with determination and ambition. Its unrelenting positive message and preference for distraction does not allow for any complexity or for anything which cannot be explained easily. Success in life comes from building up, getting more, going higher. Prompted by this model, we can sometimes believe that we are fully in charge of our lives, when in fact we have depths and motivations that we are often unaware of.  A lot of what is important or which shapes and drives our life is hidden from us, deep in the unconscious.  We have wounds that have not healed but still have an influence, fundamental assumptions and powerful unmet needs. Hidden also, is a natural understanding of the direction we should go, as well as potential riches which we are often too timid to take hold of. However, at crucial moments in our lives, growth involves us  going down into the depths, paying attention to what has been neglected, hidden or buried.  This can happen in the mid to late twenties when we are forced to finally leave the shadow of our parents or in the “mid-life” years when we awaken to these depths as their demands oblige us to redefine our understanding of who we truly are. At these times we are called to a more  genuine relationship to our deepest selves and the journey we are on. This can be prompted by a loss or a period of deeper reflection, or by a restlessness or boredom which leads us to see that we are not fully content.

At moments like this we are led to consider the values which will lead us to living a richer, larger life. The way we have lived life’s challenges to date may no longer feel authentic to us. Although it may feel like a crisis or be deeply uncomfortable, we know we are being called to deepen the paradigm which we use to guide us through life.  The question of our most real identity will not go away.  The untended parts of our lives seek expression. Do we have the courage to go with this new prompting and be rewarded with a deeper, more fulfilling story?

One’s own self is well hidden from one’s own self;

Of all mines of treasure, one’s own is the last to be dug up.

Friedrich Nietzsche