Tag: Stress Reduction

A simple practice for working with difficult moments (and people)

Karl Duffy1 Comment

Difficult situations or difficult relationship often give rise to a sense of fear in us, leading to blame, withdrawal or self-judgement. Here is a simple practice to use in such times, to extend kindness, firstly towards ourselves and then towards others or the situation

Sitting with your spine erect, breathe deeply, placing your finger tips over the center of your chest,  if you like.

As you inhale extend compassion to yourself by silently saying as you breathe out,  “May compassion awaken”. Inhale and exhale for several breaths, focusing on the center of your chest.

Then you may wish to picture a person to whom you wish to extend compassion. Again, as you exhale, silently say, “May compassion awaken”. Inhale and exhale for several breaths, focusing on the center of your chest.

Recalling the person [or the situation], silently say “May whatever clouds compassion be healed” Repeat this cycle with the phrase “May this moment be experienced, exactly as it is” and finally, “May compassion be extended to all”

Adapted from Elizabeth Hamilton

Just show up

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I sometimes say that our monastery in Santa Fe should have a slogan hanging over the gate “Show up”. That’s all we have to do when we meditate – show up. We bring ourselves and all of our thoughts and feelings to the practice of being with whatever is, whether we are tired, angry, fearful, grieving or just plain resistant and unwilling. It really doesn’t matter what we’re feeling; we just come and sit down.

However unbearable any discomfort seems, ultimately everything we experience is temporary. And please make the wonderful effort to show up for your life, every moment, this moment – because it is perfect, just as it is.

Joan Halifax, Being with Dying

Being patient and starting over

Karl Duffy2 Comments

I was thinking about the GPS in my car. It never gets annoyed at me. If I make a mistake, it says, “Recalculating.” And then it tells me to make the soonest left turn and go back. I thought to myself, you know, I should write a book and call it “Recalculating” because I think that that’s what we’re doing all the time. If something happens, it challenges us and the challenge is, OK, so do you want to get mad now? You could get mad, you could go home, you could make some phone calls, you could tell a few people you can’t believe what this person said or that person said. Indignation is tremendously seductive, you know, and to share with other people on the telephone and all that. So to not do it and to say, wait a minute, apropos of you said before, wise effort to say to yourself, wait a minute, this is not the right road. Literally, this is not the right road. There’s a fork in the road here. I could become indignant, I could flame up this flame of negativity or I could say, “Recalculating.” I’ll just go back here. And no matter how many times I don’t make that turn, it will continue to say, “Recalculating.” The tone of voice will stay the same.

Sylvia Boorstein.

Wait and let things settle

Karl Duffy1 Comment

While thinking about our difficulties is useful to a point, we tend to take it too far and become obsessive…. Creating some spaciousness and tranquility in our minds can be a large step towards solving a problem. Consider the “forest pool” metaphor so popular in Buddhism. After inclement weather, the pool is muddy, full of sediment and debris. We cannot clear it by trying to control the contents – that would make the pool worse. We can only wait for all the sediment to settle to the bottom, leaving the pool clear again. So in meditation, by concentrating on the breath or our body or on sounds we can hear in the present moment, we create a space for clarity. We often find that in this spaciousness, an answer to a problem will simply “pop up” to the surface. Sometimes it won’t, but our bodies will thank us for a break from all the worrying.

Sarah Napthali, Stewing

Remember, when stressed today…

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Sometimes the most important thing
in a whole day
is the rest we take between two deep breaths.
 
Etty Hillesum
 

This moment!

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Most of life only lasts a moment. Then our life becomes a memory,  a dream. We are only alive a millisecond at a time. This moment! Or as one teacher puts it, holding his thumb and forefinger about a quarter-inch apart  “All of life is only just this much – about a moment at a time”. When we open to the very instant in which awareness produces consciousness, we are fully alive. Completely present. Big-minded. To the degree that we are present for “just this much”, this living moment, we are alive. Otherwise we numb to the vibrancy,  and beg upon our deathbed for just one more chance.

Stephen and Ondrea Levine, Embracing the Beloved.