We need patience in relationships to really grow and know another person, to grow into our own stories and really listen to the stories of another. This allows a new story to emerge as the interweaving of two lives. Calm patience, letting go of any forcing in the now, as we allow something deeper to come in the future.
To learn to live with the unavoidability of the other is to learn to be patient. Such patience comes not just from our inability to have the other do our will; more profoundly, it arises with the love that the presence of the other can and does create in us. Our loves, like our bodies, signal our death. And such love – if it is not to be fearful of its loss, a very difficult thing – must be patient. Moreover, patience sustains and strengthens love, for it opens to us the time we need to tell our own story with another’s story intertwined and to tell it together with that other. So told, the story in fact constitutes our love.
Hauerwas and Pinches, Christians Among the Virtues