Some practical advice for living

Karl Duffy1 Comment

All the different wisdom traditions have the same message. And yet sometimes when we read these texts we see them as eternal laws, impacting sometime in the future, without realizing that they are giving practical guidelines about happiness, and how to live right now, moment by moment.  The conditions for real contentment are fully present in our life now, if we can just notice.  We have such a strong desire to control, and our fears about not being in control are so strong, that we frequently  fall into the trap of believing that we will gain security by  thinking excessively about situations. Texts like this remind us of a different strategy towards happiness.  These simple flowers that I saw in in the field today remind me. There is a rhythm deep down in nature. We can trust and let go.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

Luke 12:25f

Is worrying helping?

Karl DuffyLeave a comment

 

If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying?

If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?

Shantideva

Today, cultivate aloneness

Karl Duffy2 Comments

It’s very easy to avoid being alone – there are so many distractions. However, in one sense we are always alone in our experience…. Without solitary time there is no chance to reflect on your life and find wisdom.  My advice is to cultivate aloneness as a habit – even for just five or ten minutes a day.  See what it’s like.  Sit there and allow whatever intrigues or bores or scares you to arise. The energy you spend in fearful reaction to things is much greater than the energy it takes to look at them. Out of that time come amazing things: insight, creativity, courage, self-knowledge – and truth.  I promise. 

Susan Piver

Hold on lightly – let feelings pass through awareness

Karl DuffyLeave a comment

 

Meditation is a special kind of dance in which we commit ourselves wholeheartedly to the practice of deconstructing the materialistic view of reality. The challenge is simultaneously to hold on and to let go; it is to see clearly what we are doing and at the same time see through it.

Ajahn Amaro

When you think you are not “good enough”

Karl Duffy2 Comments

The goalposts for what counts as “good enough”  always seem to be out of reach. No matter how well we do, someone else always seems to be doing it better. The result of this line of thinking is sobering: Millions of people who need to take pharmaceuticals every day just to cope with daily life. Insecurity, anxiety, and depression are incredibly common in our society, and much of this is due to self-judgment, to beating ourselves up when we feel we aren’t winning in the game of life.

So what’s the answer? To stop judging and evaluating ourselves altogether. To stop trying to label ourselves as “good” or “bad” and simply accept ourselves with an open heart. To treat ourselves with the same kindness, caring, and compassion we would show to a good friend — or even a stranger,  for that matter. Self-compassion provides an island of calm, a refuge from the stormy seas of endless positive and negative self-judgment, so that we can finally stop asking, “Am I as good as they are? Am I good enough?” By tapping into our inner wellsprings of kindness, acknowledging the shared nature of our imperfect human condition, we can start to feel more secure, accepted, and alive.

It does take work to break the self-criticizing habits of a lifetime, but at the end of the day, you are only being asked to relax, allow life to be as it is, and open your heart to yourself. It’s easier than you might think, and it could change your life.

Kristan Neff, Why Self-Compassion trumps Self-Esteem

How to let go of sorrows

Karl DuffyLeave a comment

When we enter the present moment deeply, our regrets and sorrows disappear, and we discover life with all its wonders. Breathing in, we say to ourselves, “I have arrived.”  Breathing out, we say,”I am home.” When we do this, we overcome dispersion and dwell peacefully in the present moment, which is the only moment for us to be alive.

Thich Nhat Hahn, Walking Meditation