Internal focus

Mindfulness practice tells us that the best way to work with the changes that face us today is to look inside,  and that a large part of our contentment comes from the internal ways we work with what faces us. As I was reminded in a talk I heard last week, a fundamental characteristic of life is not just that it is continually changing but that it does so in ways we cannot predict. It is an ongoing challenge to remain curious and increase our interior freedom in the face of these surprises. However, this curiosity can help us to avoid holding onto situations or seeking alternatives that are actually unhealthy. This is expressed extremely well in this quotation which outlines the underlying principles beneath this day-to-day practice.

The compulsion to change the world  to calm our desires is based on an idea of how things should be, and as such is dependent upon the degree of wisdom we can bring to bear at any moment. Because we are so imbued with this notion that happiness is something to be pursued by the continual transformation of the external, it can sound odd to hear the Buddha talk of uncovering happiness within. He acknowledged the inevitable presence of disequilibrium, which he called dukkha or suffering, but suggested we seek out its internal causes, understand them and solve the problem by means of internal adjustments. According to his analysis, it is not the objective discrepancy between the internal and the external condition that is the source of unhappiness; it is the desire for the external to change (or not to change as the case may be) which is itself an internal state. Conditions in the world are notoriously unstable and subject to forces beyond our control, while internal desire are more intimate and more accessible. It is simply more efficient to adapt to the world than to alter it.

Andrew Olwendzki, Unlimiting Mind

Learning to be

Meanwhile, we miss the fact that we are losing the main point and that what we are doing has turned into a self-based program. We get caught in the illusion, trying to make the self become something other. We can relax without switching off, and consequently we can enjoy the fruits of our work. This is what we mean by letting go of becoming and learning to be. If we’re too tense and eager to get to the other end, we’re bound to fall off the tight rope.

Ajahn Amaro

Endings give rise to new beginnings

I know that when I struggle with the pain of any loss, the struggle preoccupies my mind and leaves no room for hope. However, when I recognize the pain I feel as the legitimate result of loss, I am respectful of its presence and kind to myself. My mind always relaxes when it is kind, and around the edges of the truth of whatever has ended, I see displays of what might be beginning.

Sylvia Boorstein

The link between letting go and happiness

We believe that it is difficult to let go, but in truth, it is much more difficult and painful to hold and protect.  Reflect upon anything in your life that you grasp hold of – an opinion, a historical resentment, an ambition, or an unfulfilled fantasy.  Sense the tightness, fear, and defensiveness that surrounds the grasping.  It is a painful, anxious experience of unhappiness.  We do not let go in order to make ourselves impoverished or bereft. We let go in order to discover happiness and peace.

Christine Feldman

 

Making time for better health 4: One step at a time

We tend to think in sequences. For example, when we go grocery shopping, our mind is on what we need to buy and where to shop. We’re likely to skip over all the little experiences on the way: locking the front door, seeing the neighbour standing at the window, rain splattering on the windscreen, the noise of traffic, and so on. The same thing happens when we learn something new. We’re always looking towards what we’ll know or be able to do in the future, instead of focusing on the next step right now.

Tip: Take one step at a time without worrying about the journey.

Zenhabits, How to Live Life to the Max with Beginner’s Mind

No coming, no going

No Coming. No Going.

Everything is pretending to be born and to die.

That is a lie

An interesting quote from Thich Nhat Hahn. I am not sure that I completely get it but I think it means  that  –  at one level –  nothing really comes or goes, nothing is born or dies, but rather everything simply transforms into something else.  How can I apply that to my life? Well, when I get fixed on something as it currently is and desperately want to hold on to that, I suffer. But if I am able to see that everything is in a process of transforming, and thus not ending, then I do not need to hold on and suffering does not arise. If I realize how limiting it is when I hold fixed stories about myself or my life, and instead move toward a full openness and acceptance of what may emerge, then I can  more easily deal with the inevitable changes which each moment brings.