The sense of unworthiness, it seems, comes out of our being talked out of, trained out of, conditioned out of trusting our natural being. It is the result of being turned away from ourselves, taught to distrust ourselves.
We are worthy of letting go of our unworthiness. If we did nothing but practice letting go of unworthiness, much of the stuff we’re working so hard to clear away would have no support system. We would have more room to grow. Consciously we surrender unworthiness as it arises, not entertaining it with the ego’s list of credits. the work which will awaken us is that of becoming keenly aware of unworthiness without judging it. Gently, with patience and a lot of love, we acknowledge the being we really are. As a friend puts it, “Always try to see yourself through God’s eyes”.
We practice in order to become more awake. This includes becoming more aware of the various strategies we use to avoid being with a basic fear. We have numerous ways to deflect any sense of insecurity, of not being in control, of not always being sure of where we are going. So we have a tendency to look to ourside sources or achievements for support, to define ourselves by what we do or by some labels or badges. We are often afraid of just being ourselves, because we have learnt to believe that it is not enough. And one of the preferred ways to deal with this today is that we try harder, we do more.
However, what we find when we practice is that there is nothing to do, and even less to hold on to. There is simply this moment, this breath. Nothing needs to be added to make it compete. We rest in it, and in some way we are complete in it too. We do not have to place more demands on it. We slow down the chatter in the mind. We do not have to search in order to be. And that is the greatest liberation.
The arrogant mind never stops looking for identity, and this identity always defines itself through atributes: “the beautiful one”, “the smart one”, “the creative one”, “the successful one”………. We are always searching for something to be.
Dzigar Kongtrul, Light Comes Through
I have spoken at times of a light inside, a light that is uncreated and uncreatable to the extent that we can deny ourselves and turn away from things, we shall find our unity in that little spark inside, which neither space nor time touches.