heart – Page 205 – Mindfulbalance

Being happy in our life

December 14, 2011December 12, 2011 Karl Duffy3 Comments

“Rejoice always.” 1 Thess 5:16

It is not fitting, when one is in God’s service, to have a gloomy face or a chilling look. – St. Francis of Assisi

Last Sunday was the third Sunday of Advent, which is known as Gaudete Sunday – from the Latin word Gaudete, meaning “rejoice”. The season of Advent originally was a fast of forty days in preparation for Christmas, starting the day after the feast of St. Martin (12 November), and was called “St. Martin’s Lent” from as early as the fifth century. This Sunday was a break from the penitential atmosphere in that it focused on joy because the coming celebration was near. There seems to be a number of fundamental themes occurring in all cultures around this time of year, reflecting deep anthropological or archaic desires. One of them is the desire to keep hope and joy alive in the face of shortening days. We can see this theme expressed as hope, patience and looking forward in the Christian season, due initially to the belief in the immanent return of Jesus. Nowadays the injunction becomes an inner wisdom, directing us to notice what is good and not stay with the mind’s habitual tendency to struggle and focus on what is negative. It also points us towards finding true contentment with how our life is actually at this moment. Practically this means that we cultivate the practice of joy, smiling at the beauty we see each day and being grateful for the good things we receive. Not taking ourselves too seriously, but keeping light and unforced, is also a useful practice, as the Thich Nhat Hahn quote this morning said, and as Chesterton reminds us here:

Angels can fly because they can take themselves lightly. This has been always the instinct of Christendom, and especially the instinct of Christian art. Remember how Fra Angelico represented all his angels, not only as birds, but almost as butterflies. Seriousness is not a virtue. It is really a natural trend or lapse into taking one’s self gravely, because it is the easiest thing to do. For solemnity flows out of men naturally; but laughter is a leap. It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light. Satan fell by the force of gravity.

Visualizing our day

December 13, 2011December 13, 2011 Karl Duffy1 Comment

What do you visualize before you start work? Do you imagine yourself managing the day successfully and calmly? Or do you anticipate all the stressful things that might come up an d how overwhelmed you’ll feel? Many of us tend to ruminate or catastrophize about the negative events we expect to happen at work. Maybe you worry about dealing with irate customers, dread making a phone call, or cringe at the prospect of hurting your back again. Regardless of whether or not these scenarios may happen or not, we often don’t imagine ourselves handling them very well. When we worry, we are prone to focus on how bad something will be, without doing any concrete problem solving or realizing that life will continue, even if this anticipated disaster occurs. Before work, rather than worry about the coming day…visualize in a positive way what will happen today. Imagine yourself having a nice day. If you’re likely to encounter obstacles or setbacks, visualize managing them well. Research shows that this kind of mental rehearsal improves later performance.

Jonathan S. Kaplan, Urban Mindfulness

Where we focus the mind

December 12, 2011December 12, 2011 Karl Duffy1 Comment

Sometimes a lot of our thoughts and feelings can be connected with what we do not have, or by what has been done to us. The mind seems to have a great desire to hold on to things or events, and this is the same no matter if the experience is positive or negative. We can see this when we find ourselves remembering negative words spoken years ago, or encounter people holding decades-old grudges. If we focus on what we do not have, we frequently compare our condition to other more “desirable” conditions. And when we look at our life in terms of what did not work out for us, we can feel a deep sense of lack and go on to cultivate a profound sense of dissatisfaction. However, if we are spending ongoing time noticing what we have lost or do not have, rather than what we actually have, it is clear that, paradoxically, it is not truly lost, but is still present and recurring in a transformed form, to remind us or even haunt us with its presence. Meditation is essentially a practice of de-grasping- of working with a mind that likes to push away or hold onto reality – by patiently sitting with conditions as they actually are.

Losing too is still ours;
and even forgetting still has a shape in the kingdom of transformation.

When something’s let go of, it circles;
and though we are rarely the center of the circle,
it draws around us its unbroken, marvelous curve.

Rilke, For Hans Carossa

Finding our confidence within

December 12, 2011December 13, 2011 Karl Duffy1 Comment

When we are well with ourselves, then whatever happens, it really doesn’t matter, because we have equilibrium and stability. We don’t feel any lack of confidence.

If not, we’re always on edge, waiting to see how someone reacts to us, what people say to us or think about us. Our confidence hangs on what people tell us about how we are, how we look, how we behave.

When we are really in touch with ourselves, we know ourselves beyond what others may tell us. So these three qualities – a good heart, stability, and spaciousness – these are really what you could call basic human virtues.

Sogyal Rinpoche

Doing the 24 hours well

December 10, 2011December 9, 2011 Karl Duffy2 Comments

All of us are appointed to the same teacher that religious institutions originally worked with: reality. Reality insight says: “Master the 24 hours, do it well, without self-pity”. It is as hard to get the children herded into the car and down the road to the bus as it is to chant sutras in the hall on a cold morning. One move is not better than the other; each can be quite boring, and they both have the virtuous quality of repetition. Repetition and ritual and their good results come in many forms: changing the oil filters, wiping noses, going to meetings, picking up around the house, washing clothes, checking the dipstick. Don’t let yourself think that these are distracting you from more serious pursuits. Such a round of chores is not a set of difficulties we hope to escape from so that we may do our practice, which will put us on the path. It is our path.

Gary Snyder, poet, quoted in Gil Fronsdal, Evaluate your Meditation

Seeing how the mind adds on..

December 10, 2011December 9, 2011 Karl Duffy1 Comment

Someone calls you an idiot….Then you start thinking “How can they call me an idiot? They’ve got no right to call me an idiot! How rude to call me an idiot! I’ll get them back for calling me an idiot” And you suddenly realise that you have let them call you an idiot another four times. Every time you remember what they said, you allow them to call you an idiot once again. Therein lies the problem.