Tag: heart

A dash of foolishness

Karl Duffy1 Comment

Maybe because it’s the end of the working week, or people starting on holidays, or simply because its July….. but this post follows the same theme as other Fridays in this month: Let’s keep a capacity for play and for non-doing in our lives..

Each day, and the living of it, has to be a conscious creation

in which discipline and order

are relieved with some play and pure foolishness.

May Sarton

with thanks to Ben Naga for this lovely quote

and for being one of the longest and most faithful followers of this blog.

 

Kindness

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When I was young, I admired clever people.

Now that I am old, I admire kind people

Abraham Joshua Heschel

No perfect way

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Two quotes for today from the great Suzuki Roshi.

Life – or work – can contains elements of mess or chaos and we often approach them with a belief that a resolution can be, or should be arrived at. However, in reality, most of the time, it is rather a question of holding the irresolution or the problem in a new awareness.

Nothing we see or hear is perfect. But right there in the imperfection is perfect reality.

There is no way set up for us. Moment after moment we have to find our own way.

Some idea of perfection, or some perfect way which is set up by someone else, is not the true way for us. Each one of us must make his own true way, and when we do, that way will express the universal way.

Shunryū Suzuki Roshi, 1904 –  1971

Whichever happens, be patient

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In Tibetan Buddhism there’s a set of teachings for cultivating compassion called mind training, or lojong. One of the lojong teachings is, “Whichever of the two occurs, be patient.” This means if a painful situation occurs, be patient, and if a pleasant situation occurs, be patient. This is an interesting point. Usually, we jump all the time; whether it’s pain or pleasure, we want resolution. So if we’re happy and something is great, we could also be patient then, and not fill up the space, going a million miles an hour — impulse shopping, impulse talking, impulse acting out.

Pema Chodron, Practicing Peace

Sunday Quote: A choice

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We either make ourselves miserable,

or we make ourselves strong.

The amount of work is the same. 

Carlos Castenada, Journey to Ixtlan

Being driven is not always a good thing

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On the day after being nominated among the 50 best blogs “on the planet”, these thoughts on striving and becoming which I had written for today seem even more apt…

One reason we practice mindfulness meditation is to strengthen our capacity to “be with” what is here,  rather than always nurturing the deep-seated dynamic of “becoming”.  And “being with” does not just mean that simplistic idea of mindfulness – being with this beautiful flower or cupcake –  but also being with the life or personality we have, rather than always wanting to be better or be like others –  “If only I was this….. if only he or she wasn’t like that – then I’d feel satisfied”. Ideals of perfect relationships, perfect holidays and even perfect wellness make it easy to feel that one isn’t good enough. These can be false friends, pushing us to do more and achieve more, rather than finding rest in who and where we are:

Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: “If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.” Perfectionism is defeating and self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception – we want to be perceived as perfect. Again, this is unattainable – there is no way to control perception, regardless of how much time and energy we spend trying.

Perfectionism is addictive because when we invariably do experience shame, judgment, and blame, we often believe it’s because we weren’t perfect enough so rather than questioning the faulty logic of perfectionism, we become even more entrenched in our quest to live, look, and do everything just right.

Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection