An accepting gaze

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In a true you-and-I relationship, we are present mindfully, non-intrusively, the way we are present with things in nature. We do not tell a birch tree it should be more like an elm. We face it with no agenda, only an appreciation that becomes participation: ‘I love looking at this birch’ becomes ‘I am this birch’ and then ‘I and this birch are opening to a mystery that transcends and holds us both.”

David Richo, When the Past is Present

Controlling the weather

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I have had some visitors staying these past days. The weather so far  this year has been very unusual for this area, with clouds and rain dominating in the last few week. This certainly can make touring a little more difficult, but no matter what the weather, once we fix on one desired result, inevitably the alternative seems a disappointment. A useful practice for the larger things in life. When we notice little habits like this we can let go and save ourselves stressing over things we cannot control.

I once led a retreat during a monsoon-like rainstorm: For a few days I wanted to apologize to everyone for the weather until a …voice of deeper wisdom arose “Weather is weather. This is what happens”. We’ve all had weather moments – times when we’ve felt responsible for everyone’s good or well-being. It’s our job, we think, to fix the temperature and humidity, or the people around us (if only we could get our partner to quit smoking, consult a map, stick to a diet). We even think we’re capable of totally controlling our own emotions – “I shouldn’t feel envious, or resentful or spiteful! That’s awful! I’m going to stop”. You might as well say “I’m never going to catch a cold again!”

Though we can affect our physical and emotional experiences, we can’t ultimately determine them; we can’t decree what emotions will arise in us. But we can learn in meditation to change our responses to them. That way we are spared a trip down a path of suffering we’ve traveled many times before. Recognizing what we can’t control (the feelings that arise within us; other people; the weather) helps us to have healthier boundaries at work and at home – no more trying to reform everyone all the time.

Sharon Salzberg, Real Happiness

Step by step

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You do not need to know precisely what is happening,

or exactly where it is all going.

What you need, is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment,

and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.

Thomas Merton

photo: strobilomyces

A simple three part practice

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First, come into the present. Flash on what’s happening with you right now. Be fully aware of your body, its energetic quality. Be aware of your thoughts and emotions.

Next, feel your heart, literally placing your hand on your chest if you find that helpful. This is a way of accepting yourself just as you are in that moment, a way of saying, “This is my experience right now, and it’s okay.”

Then,  go into the next moment without any agenda

Pema Chodron, Living Beautifully

…with no gaining idea

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Our way is to practice one step at a time,

one breath at a time,

with no gaining idea

Suzuki Roshi

What gets in the way

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Awareness is our true self; it’s who we are. So we don’t have to try to develop awareness; we simply need to notice how we block awareness out with our thoughts, fantasies, opinions and our judgments. We’re either in awareness, which is our natural state, or we’re doing something else.

Charlotte Joko Beck, Nothing Special

Photo Buddpaul