Having two hearts, and a choice

The early Church Fathers had a simple way of expressing our struggle. They taught that each of us has two hearts, two souls:

In each person, they affirmed, there is a small, petty heart, a pusilla anima. This is the heart that we operate out of when we are not at our best. This is the heart within which we feel our wounds and our distance from others. This is the heart within which are chronically irritated and angry, the heart within which we feel the unfairness of life, the heart within which we sense others as a threat, the heart within which we feel envy and bitterness, and the heart within which greed, lust, and selfishness break through. This too is the heart that wants to set itself apart from and above others.

But the Church Fathers taught that inside of each of us there was also another heart, a magna anima, a huge, deep, big, generous, and noble heart. This is the heart we operate out of when we are at our best. This is the heart within which we feel empathy and compassion. This is the heart within which we are enflamed with noble ideals.  Inside each of us, sadly often buried under suffocating wounds that keep if far from the surface, lies the heart of a saint, bursting to get out.

Not everything can be fixed or cured, but it should be named correctly. Nowhere is this more important than in how we name both the size and the struggles of the human heart. We are not petty souls who occasionally do noble things. We are rather noble souls who, sadly, occasionally do petty things.

Ron Rolheiser, The Size of our Hearts

Everything comes down to how we work with time

Everything comes down to time in the end – to the passing of time, to changing. Ever thought of that? Anything that makes you happy or sad, isn’t it all based on minutes going by? Isn’t happiness expecting something time is going to bring you? Isn’t sadness wishing time back again? 

Anne Tyler, Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant

Letting the breath be

We are all breathing. The first instruction is just to know that we are, not in an intellectual sense, but to be aware of the simple sensation of, the in-breath and the out-breath. Even in this instruction we are learning something extremely important, to allow the breathing follow its own nature, to breath itself. We are not trying to make the breath simple or keep it shallow. We are seeing how it is.That flies in the face of our lifelong conditioning to control, direct and orchestrate everything. We’re terrified of chaos, afraid that if we don’t keep things in their place they will all fall apart. Most of us are quite good at controlling, and what we’d really like is to be even better at it. Our tendency is to ride the breath, push it along, help it out…..

That isn’t the instruction. The instruction is to let it be, to surrender to the breathing. We are learning even in this first instruction the art of surrender.

Larry Rosenberg, Breath by Breath

Not out of reach

Our true nature is not some ideal that we have to live up to .

It’s who we are right now,

and that ‘s what we can make friends with and celebrate.

Pema Chodron

When you see fear today

When you are frightened by something, you have to relate with fear, explore why you are frightened, and develop some sense of conviction. You can actually look at fear. Then fear ceases to be the dominant situation that is going to defeat you. Fear can be conquered. You can be free from fear if you realize that fear is not the ogre. You can step on fear, and therefore, you can attain what is known as fearlessness. But that requires that, when you see fear, you smile.

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

Always putting labels

All my life right and wrong, false and real,  tangled.

Playing with the moon, ridiculing wind, listening to birds….

Many years wasted seeing the mountain covered with snow.

This winter I suddenly realize snow makes a mountain.

Dogen